And God said, "Tathastu!"
On living with intentionality and pure desire for my Beloved — the Queen of Queens and the Lord of Lords.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
In 2015, I made a commitment to go back to the basics — I wanted to build a strong foundation for my life. I did not want to get well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society — I wanted to help create a new one. I didn’t want to play the same game that everyone was playing — I wanted to play a different game.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” — Buckminster Fuller
I had spent several years fighting the existing reality. But in 2015, I stopped fighting. I started channeling my energy into understanding the world. I shifted my focus — I wanted to get a sense of what I could realistically hope to achieve in my lifetime.
After some delay and resistance, I started sorting myself out as well — creating the foundation for my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being; and healing my relationship with my family.
All of this work culminated in a death-rebirth experience in October 2021, where I integrated all my experiences of 6+ years and transcended the version of myself that was a prisoner of fear. In doing so, the playground of life was opened up for me. Here’s what I wrote in my newsletter titled Eat, Sleep, Play, Repeat on October 29th, 2021:
The root of all distress and trauma is fear — and the creeper of fear has been rooted out of my system. It’s not that I don’t feel fear anymore — the creeper can still start growing. But it doesn’t have a hold on my life — it doesn’t have deep roots and I can pull it out easily. I am no longer a prisoner of fear. […] the seed of a visceral sense of safety has been planted in me. For the coming 26 weeks (and beyond), my intention is to cultivate this sense of safety and let it bloom in my life! I want this feeling of safety to permeate into the core of my being. I want to become an incarnation — the embodiment — of love, light, and life! [And] I need to create the space for all this to happen.
3 months since I wrote these words, I am experiencing an increasing sense of freedom. Whenever I experience fear, I can easily let it pass over me and through me — it no longer has a hold over me. As a result, my life has become increasingly playful. It feels like the work is done and now, I can play.
Just to be clear — my actual work is just beginning. But it doesn’t feel like work — it feels like play! The world is resolving into clarity and becoming brighter and more magical. The path forward is unfolding seamlessly and I’m being pulled forward by the transcendental object at the end of time.
I am living with pure intentionality. Every moment of my life is drenched in pure desire for my Beloved — the Queen of Queens and the Lord of Lords — Mother Nature and Father Future. I am a being made of pure white light and my being is as light as a feather! In this state…
I am in alignment with my Dharma — all my thoughts, words, and actions are in line with my divine purpose — which is to engineer heaven on earth.
I trust my karma — everything that I need to fulfill my Dharma, comes to me and everything that comes to me is what I need to fulfill my Dharma.
I perform my Yajña — I live my life as an offering to my Beloved and I am an instrument in the hands of the Divine.
I am in Yoga — moving in wholeness, completeness, and perfection — bearing witness to the future that is unfolding and passing by.
In this state, all my intentions are being met with tathastu!
So be it. So be it. So be it!
A quick update on the goals I had set for the 3rd quarter of Project 52:
Swimming — The goal was to be able to swim one lap (50 meters). I have managed to swim 25 meters consistently (learning from scratch).
Driving — The goal was to relearn driving, but I haven’t done it.
Meditation+Chanting+Breathwork — I did meditate for about a month. Then I switched to doing Yoga Nidra before bed. The goal was to cultivate embodiment and this habit definitely helps. However, I haven’t been very consistent with this habit. In the mornings, I re-started Wim Hof breathing and this helps with embodiment as well. Chanting hasn’t happened.
Prayer — Have prayed on most days and missed only a handful. This habit has been incredibly powerful and transformative. (92% habit score)
11 strict pullups — Achieved, up from ~8 pullups 3 months ago.
11 strict chin-ups — Achieved, up from ~8 chin-ups 3 months ago.
Create or master one new dish — Learned how to make Chicken Sukkha from my mom. It’s one of my favorite dishes and I’m glad I can cook it myself now!
Here are my goals for the 4th and final quarter of Year 2:
Swimming — one lap (50 meters) consistently.
Driving — re-learn and drive at least 100 km by end of the quarter.
Yoga Nidra and Breathwork — hit 90% habit score for both.
Hit 13 strict pullups and 13 strict chin-ups.
Create or master one new dish.
For the last quarter of Year 2, I want to double down on embodiment and fully realize my intention — to digest distress and increase embodiment. I want to consistently be in a high-energy vibrational state — radiating love, light, and life. I want to develop the ability to rapidly transmute low-energy states.
I also want to start preparing for Year 3 of my Project 52 — the intention that’s forming is around creating abundance through leverage.
Now that the foundation is set, it’s time to build.
Now that the work is done, it’s time to play.
Tathastu!